5 miles, I never thought and never knew…

5 miles sounded easy to me, until I did 2.  As I’ve blogged before though, the 2 mile days are usually the toughest for me.  I did 5 miles each day the last 2 weekends.  Both days were long, yet enjoyable.  That much time in your own head is a challenge.  You can’t get away from yourself, there’s nothing to distract you except the occasional thought about running form, or which way to go.  By the way, I’m still not running the whole time – it’s a run / walk situation. But I can go a mile, which means some day I’ll be able to go 2.  Then 3.  Then 4.  But for now, I’m at 5 with a run / walk, which is more than a third of my eventual race day distance… Yay!

Emotionally it’s been a tough few weeks.  Work hasn’t been easy, and I hit a patch of severe depression and just completely shut down for a week.  In my personal life things were going ok, but then the relationship (?) I was in hit the skids.  It’s getting easier to break things off as I figure out things aren’t right, but more and more frustrating when I think about how I’m almost 34, still single, and no prospects in sight, with a burning desire to start a family and share my life with someone.  Then I get a letter from my sister who is moving to Africa to volunteer for a year, and I wonder how I can be so selfish.  Sigh.  Summer is always rough for me, I know if I can just make it through I can re-stabilize, but I just feel so discouraged.

Anyway, I continue to train.  Even when I don’t feel like it.  I want to finish this half marathon (I know I will, but I also know I cannot quit the training).  This is the longest I can remember being consistently dedicated to something.  I’m strength training with my running coach (who is the most bad ass woman I’ve ever met) to improve my running.  I’m swimming, I’m biking, I’m rocking.  I’m barely drinking (whoa!).  I’m thinking triathlon next year.  I wish I could train more.  It would fill the time and make me feel less lonely.

This entry is rather morose… Sigh, sorry.  I got my heart slightly bruised.  It happens.

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About vegastrigirl

I'm a tri baby who's just started to participate in this crazy circus of triathlons.
This entry was posted in half marathon, heartbreak, running, single, training. Bookmark the permalink.

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