My 2.4 mile swim was yesterday. Thinking back i’m still in awe that I completed it. At 6 AM I was standing on the shore with my super strong trainer, and we’re both freaking out. It looked soooooo far. Then my nerves kicked in. Well, the emotions had been flowing since well before then. I was scared, I didn’t want to fail, I didn’t want to struggle. I was feeling sorry for myself, wishing I had a man to stand on the shore and cheer for me – ugh. I was totally feeling sorry for myself and fighting off tears the whole way to the event.
The first 1/2 mile was tough, mostly because I wasn’t really warmed up, and it was my first race, so I was nervous! Then I just swam… and swam and swam. My back got a little sore at around mile 1.3 or so. I had to stop and stretch. Around the 2 mile point I started to feel so tired. My left leg cramped, then my right. The current picked up, and I got rocked around. I felt seasick, it was horrible. My mind was ready to push to the finish, my body was not. I actually got turned around, literally. The medic support was watching me with concern (or at least that’s what I thought). I could see the finish line, but it just wasn’t getting any closer. Then, finally, I was done!
Climbing out of the water I didn’t feel great. I felt relief, but sick, and overall blah. I ate, calmed down, drove home, rested, and then it hit me…
I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT!!!! HOLY SHIT, I’M AWESOME!
So here I sit, still basking in the afterglow. I’m so happy. The first person I saw when I got out of the water was my coach, screaming and cheering like a crazy person, which was awesome, I’ve never really had a cheering section before, and I realized I felt sorry for myself for nothing. I was super touched and realized how blessed I am for the people I have in my life as the phone calls and texts congratulating me came in throughout the day. I’ve always been moved by music, it touches my emotions and brings me back to places and experiences I love. Now I’ve find a new source of happiness, and that is personal accomplishment. Yes, I’ve achieved in the past, I’ve always excelled in my professional career, and naturally I’m an excellent dancer (grin), but this is the first time I’ve done something physically that most the people I know can’t do. I’ve differentiated myself. And it feels bad ass!
I CANNOT WAIT to finish my half marathon. I still feel amazing and so proud about this swim. I always knew I could do a long swim, I never thought I could do a long run. I’m proving myself wrong in 2 months. It’s going to be phenomenal. Stay tuned!