This is it. I’ve made it. I haven’t blogged in ages, but the day is less than 24 hours away.
I sit here, scared, nervous, proud, trying to keeps it all in check, and honestly, failing… The selfish part of me is glad all this is finally over, and just wants my victory moment.
The other part of me is just so scared I’m going to fail that I don’t even want to show up. And an even bigger part of me is scared I’ll only make it 9 miles and have to quit for some freak reason. And the biggest part of me is scared I will just lose my shit and start bawling at the end, just like how I’m misting up just thinking about it.
And then I wonder what’s next… I mean, there’s always something bigger, something better. And when does it become enough?
And then there’s the part of me that tells me to toughen up and keep my emotions in check. I wish I could. I’m overwhelmed. I can’t wait until this is over, but I’m worried too that I’ll be let down. And I can’t wait to finish.
EDIT – this was written the day before the marathon, but I had to fix a typo and can’t figure out how to back date from my mobile app.