Yesterday I quickly signed up for the Lake Stevens 70.3 Ironman in August of 2014. I was nervous thinking about it all day, and now I feel less nervous, and more a feeling of dread. So. Much. Training. So many hills. How do I swimbikerun for that long? Is there time to stop for a cheeseburger and a nap?
I’ve tried to go back and think about what motivated me to even start thinking about the 1/2 Ironman distance. It’s something about needing to know that I can. I already know I can do the swim, the bike, and the run. But putting them all together is the next big challenge. And then, when does it become enough? Two years ago I thought I could never do a 1/2 marathon. Done. So now I need to do it after I bike for 56 miles. Then I think about that and it terrifies me. People have tried to reassure me, after all, that’s almost a year away. But it’s still a really long day of exercise. Really long.
Adding to my feelings of dread is that my training environment is different in Seattle than it was in Las Vegas. I belong to a team, and they’re somewhat social, but it’s just not the same. Maybe it’s because I’m the noob in the group and I don’t have the bonds formed yet, but I still feel like a bit of an outsider. My boyfriend has been dealing with some back pain and doesn’t want to do long rides with me. I’m at something of a point where I just want to curl up in to a ball and retreat from training for a bit. I won’t. But I want to. The idea of a 30 mile ride seems so difficult, and long, and lonely. I guess I’m at my first mental roadblock. If I could have just one wish right now, it would be for a training buddy.